Testimony: “RU486 is not a simple solution to a problem”
February 22, 2013
The following testimony was read at the Feb. 20 Indiana Senate Health and Provider Services Hearing. It was written by a woman who took an abortion-inducing drug to end her pregnancy:
It is a bittersweet thing to share a piece of my story with you. I was 21 years old when I took the “abortion pill” (RU486) nearly six years ago. Nothing could have prepared me for what I would experience, or the emotional pain that I would carry for years.
I had always vowed as a young teen to never have sex before marriage, yet choices I made along the way and half-hearted convictions led me to choose to be sexually active. Over the course of five years I had gone to a clinic three times and took the “morning after pill”. It was painful yet bearable, and the only thing I thought was abnormal about it was that my period came faster and the cramps hurt more. At the clinic they always reassured me that it was safe and therefore I trusted them.
Since I trusted the clinic for years and had taken the morning after pill a few times without problems I chose the same clinic to go to for counsel when I found out I was pregnant. I was still completely against abortion at that time and was certain that I could never have a surgical abortion because I knew if they had to perform surgery that meant it really was a baby not just a blob of tissue as they referred to it. When I got counsel from the clinic they told me about the abortion pill and how “simple” it was and that you didn’t have to go through surgery, but that you would have a heavy period instead.
I wish I could remember all the details of what was said or what wasn’t said, but I don’t. I just remember that I was confused and really wanted someone to help me make the best decision, nobody ever told me that I could carry my baby if I wanted, they just kept giving me options about abortion procedures. I was told RU486 would be like a really heavy period and that I would have some severe cramping that would last a couple days, they even prescribed me pain medication for when the cramping got severe. To me it sounded a lot like the morning after pill, except you could take it up to ten weeks (which I was told, however the FDA says it can only be up to eight weeks). So I chose the abortion pill, it was the only one that seemed safe to me, and I again was reassured that it was.
I took the first set of pills at the clinic and then the next day took the last pills. I rented a hotel room the day I went to the clinic because I was ashamed of what I was doing and couldn’t imagine going through with the abortion at home. I didn’t have any problems at the hotel so I decided to go back home the next day. It was the second day that I experienced the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. The experience wasn’t just a heavy period. I was bleeding like I never knew possible. And the cramps were not just severe I thought I was dying because they were so intense. I was crying hysterically and begging to die because the pain was more than I could handle. I was sweating like crazy and on the toilet while throwing up too. I was in my bed for a day straight and told my family members that I was extremely sick feeling too ashamed to tell what really was happening. My younger siblings were scared and stayed away from me because of how I was acting. I was alone, and afraid, yet too ashamed to share.
It was the third day when I finally had enough energy to shower. I felt so dirty and shameful that I couldn’t wait to clean myself. It was the first time I had stood for more than a minute and I was starting to feel a little bit better by then. I got about halfway through my shower when I started to bleed again. I bled so much that it clogged the drain. It was in that moment, me trying to cleanse myself from my sin of the abortion that the truth was exposed. It was the “blood clot” or the “blob of tissue” that the clinic talked about. It was my baby that was clogging the drain of the shower. I had to turn off the water, get out and clean it up myself and then I flushed it down the toilet. It was even more horrifying than it sounds. This was all done in my own home, in the family bathroom, the family shower, the home where I had to live after this experience.
The emotional pain this caused made it almost unbearable to be at home after that. I hated showering and I hated sleeping in my bed, I hated being around my family, I didn’t want to be there anymore and tried my best to avoid being home. I immediately felt a loss. I didn’t want to hear people mention the word baby, I didn’t want to see babies, the sight of a baby caused me to nearly break down. I lived in denial for a period after that trying to pretend that nothing happened and that I was ok. It was in that time that Jesus found me. At my lowest and darkest point, he drew me closer to himself. I am only able to share my story with you now because I know that he has set me free and cleansed me.
RU486 is not a simple solution to a problem. It is a horrible drug and if it is made more readily available to young girls especially they will have similar stories as mine. I hate that they say it’s safe, I hate that they say it’s simple, I hate that they don’t tell you what you will really experience, I hate that they don’t care about your heart and the emotional affects it has on you. I hate that the truth is not being told. The truth is that RU486 is murder and it is not only destroying the lives of babies, but the lives of women. I am sick and tired of women being manipulated and lied to. The effects of having to go through an abortion at home are huge. The safest place one should have is home and to experience the worst thing of your life at home is a nightmare.
No one ever called me from the clinic, I never went in for a follow up, there was absolutely no contact from the clinic to me after I gave them my money and left that day. I was a number, not a human being. I am broken because these young girls are going into clinics being fed lies and then are living with the consequences of their actions alone at home. The more this drug is open to the public the more stories of broken women there will be. It is not an easy out, it is the worst pain in the world, and the emotional effects are even more painful.
Thank you for choosing life. Thank you for standing up for those who can’t speak for themselves. Thank you for fighting for women who don’t know the severity that this drug can have. Thank you for listening to my story, I pray that your eyes have been opened a little more to the truth. You’re a blessing to me.